Fluent Sarcasm

Lake Tales

Mandy — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 00:10:07 +0000

wooo-oooo (the title is meant to be sung to the tune of the “Duck Tales” theme. Remember that show? My favorite part was when the uncle (what was his name) swam through his money-filled room.)

Warning: This post is going to have to been broken into parts, because it’s a) crazy and b) long.

Yall, three shifts in a row is C-R-A-Z-Y. Anyone who tells you otherwise is LYING. Just to clarify three shifts in a row means working 12 hours, 12 hours off, working 12 hours, and so on, not 36-hours of working straight. That is even CRAZIER! Pulling three in a row is the norm for nurses working nights, so maybe I’ll get used to it, but by the afternoon of my third day I was completely useless. The good news is it’s over! And my preceptor is AMAZING! I was a little worried because she came across as a bit hard-to-please when I was in clinical, but she is a delight! God is so good to me.
Be careful when you write “shifts” that you do not forget the “f”, I’ve had to edit the word every time I’ve typed it, eek!

Part 1
In other news, last weekend we went to the Lake (pictures to come). There were 14 of us there in all, which makes my heart swell with happiness. I love being around my family! One of my cousin’s husbands came for ONE night and brought the love of my life, little Ethan (stay tuned for naked baby pictures!). We had a HUGE steak dinner Saturday night, with every starch you could think of; rolls, baked potatoes and corn on the cob, yum!
As I drove down, I was envisioning all of us gathering in a circle to play spoons and laugh at the yunguns and such. Yeah, now that my cousins are grown, they like to “go out”, as in bars and such. Which are totally my style, as you know. So Friday we go to this place that has a pool. Unfortunately the pool water looked no more appealing than the lake water (sorry lake, I LOVE YOU but not your e.coli infestations). But it wasn’t crowded, so I overcame my obsessive need for sanitation and rolled with it. Later than night we ended up at the same place, only the bar side. Never one to lightly dismiss classiness, this place was having a “foam party”. For the record, I thought (and HOPED) that foam parties had died in 2000. Not so, or at least, not so at the Lake. We sneaked a peak at the foam party and spy two, maybe three girls dancing in the foam descending from the heavens, er, top of the tent. These girls were MAYBE, MAYBE 18. And wearing their bikinis and cowboy hats. Not to be outdone by the amount of absurd cliches ALREADY present, there were middle-aged men staring at the party, making no attempt to disguise their leering. I’m sure they were fascinated with the foam-making process.

to be continued….

LOVE!

working girl

Mandy — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:47:30 +0000

Yes, this is your favorite working girl FINALLY writing some updatage. I just finished my week’o'orientation, well, let me clarify, just finished my FIRST week of orientation. This was the fun week where we sat in front of computers and listened to “guest speakers” all day every day. Thankfully I had two amazing educators who made most things fun. I still have 12 weeks of on-floor orientation, where I learn how to be a nurse, woo!
After I got my NCLEX results I fled to the Lake for a glorious 5 days. It’s hard to describe what it felt like to have a truly responsibiliy/worry-free vacation for the first time in over a year. It was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I plan on repeating it next week when I have a WHOLE 6 consecutive days off and my dear cousins are in town. I can feel the jealousy as I read this, so I will move on.
Yes, it’s nice to join the working world, with all its paychecks and schedules and interaction with others. I am happy.

LOVE!

Registered Nurse

Mandy — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:41:15 +0000

I passed the evil NCLEX and am now licensed to practice nursing in the state of Missouri!! Thank you for all of your prayers and support! It’s only through God’s grace that I made it through. I will write more later!

LOVE!!

Goings-on

Mandy — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 18:02:33 +0000

Hey yall.
I thought I’d update you on my life lately. Give you the 411. Ya know. I was supposed to start work on Monday, and did indeed go to orientation bright and early Monday morning. After several HUGE signs that something was NOT right, I went down to HR where they told me they’d messed up big time and I’d start orientation on July 5 instead. Apparently you’re supposed to fill out paperwork before you come into work…that’s how you get paid, and such. It was a huge relief to me though, because the NCLEX is tomorrow and my timeframe for studying was shrinking by the minute!
So yes, NCLEX tomorrow at 8AM. I try to not really think about all that it entails because it drives me crazy and makes me pee my pants. I find out Saturday morning if I’ve passed. This is how you’ll know: if I announce it here with big, bold letters, then I’ve passed! If I don’t say anything, I didn’t pass. So here’s to hoping there are some big, bold letters in my very near future.
Monday night went on a sort of set-up group-ish date. Exciting to “get out there” but I’m not sure it was a good match. Still fun. Yes, dad, I went on a sorta date Monday night and yes, I know you are the last to know everything. But honestly I didn’t think you’d let me out of the house wearing less than a burka. Sorry.
Today I’m relaxing, brushing up on a few things and daydreaming about NOT STUDYING at all next week, hopefully!
Thank you for your support and prayers!!

LOVE!

Struggling

Mandy — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 23:23:16 +0000

One thing I’ve ALWAYS struggled with is assertiveness. Jesus set an example by laying his life down, but he ALSO threw over a couple tables in the temple, so I always wonder when it’s appropriate to sacrifice my pride and when (or if) it’s ever okay to start flipping tables (metaphorically speaking). AND Sunday’s message at church was about revenge, as we were covering the Sermon on the Mount and the passage which talks about “turning the other cheek.” (Matthew 5:38-42). Our pastor spoke about the verse in this passage where Jesus says (paraphrased), “If someone forces you to walk a mile, go with him two.” He explained to us about how Roman soldier could pick anyone to carry their 60-pound packs but the law was they could only make them carry it one mile. Anyhoo, the whole gist was that if men volunteered to carry the pack another mile, of their own volition, it would shame the soldiers for using them. And then our pastor said something that I’ve always wondered; “Jesus isn’t saying you should be a doormat.”
I have people in my life who seem like they no longer want to be around me. It’s not black and white, but their lack of enthusiasm seems like a pretty clear indicator to me. And I have trouble letting friendships go and so I feel I keep setting myself up as I continue to solicit their companionship only to be answered with an “ehhh.” Also, being a total-unabashed-”people-person” doesn’t help, because if I could, I’d be with people, with others, 24 hours a day (ask me if I feel the same after pulling 12-hour shifts around people all day, ha).
My question is, should I continue to work on these relationships and sacrifice my pride, is that what Jesus would do, what He calls me to do? Or is this the time to let it go, to just “get” that I am not a priority to them and go on? And I pray about this, and I’m not looking for you all to be my Holy Spirit and conscience, I just wonder how other people handle these things. Even though our pastor said we weren’t called to be doormats, I still wonder where the line is, when are we called to “shame” people like the Jews were told by Jesus to do to the Roman soldiers? When we’re oppressed?
And, lastly, I CANNOT BELIEVE anyone dislikes me or doesn’t have me as their number 1 priority. I mean, COME ON! ha!

LOVE!

Summer

Mandy — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 20:27:33 +0000

This morning on our way to church, a favorite memory came to mind. Stop me if I’ve told you this story before, okay? I was probably 12 years old, and our family had gone into Kansas City to have dinner with my grandparents and/or extended family. We usually ate at the country club my grandparents belonged to, and I only tell you that because the women’s lounge/bathroom is AMAZING! First of all, it is close to being as large as our entire house, with couches and table and a little door you can open and order drinks from the kitchen from while playing bridge. CLEARLY, the lounge was one of my favorite hang-outs. I seem to have a weird obsession with bathrooms. For some reason, the country club always made me feel good. I got to pretend I was rich and belonged in a luxurious bathroom that had its own tv. I surely would bump into the beautiful son of a local millionaire and/or celebrity, who would wisk me off into the sunset and we’d live happily ever after in Mission Hills. Anyway. This night was perfect. The air was cool, we were all dressed up and we had the oldies station on the radio. We needed to stop at Home Depot for something and there we wandered for over an hour. Our family rarely ever shopped together, all four of us, but we had so much fun that night. At Home Depot. I just remember riding in the minivan, the windows down, great music on and KNOWING that I was content.
And this is what summer offers. Anything is possible in the summer, all bets are off. Going to the Lake on the weekends and usually traveing during the summer if anything, only further propogate my lust for summer. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS believe I will fall in love during the summer. I remember in high school believing I’d fall in love at the Lake. Which is really quite laughable. For those of you who know the Lake, know there is no opportunity to meet someone, at least not the way we do the Lake (i.e. NO trips to the Party Cove. Not that the PC breeds love at all. Mostly it involves lust and probably every known STD). I digress. again. I’m just saying that THIS is what summer does to me! Apparently it makes me believe the unbelievable.
I love all seasons, but summer is different. It is, dare I say, magical. But, oh, those summer nights. (HA!) Seriously, if someone could bottle up summer nights, the cool air, bright stars, lulling insect sounds, I’d TOTES buy it.
Here is a lyric from a Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers song that describes it perfectly:
“In the summer we believe, all our dreams will be achieved.”
LOVE!

It’s over?

Mandy — Tue, 18 May 2010 08:27:31 +0000

Hey yall!
Just your favorite graduate nurse here. Not quite RN yet, gotta get my license first. Which is why I’m blogging, I’m avoiding studying for the NCLEX. Or taking a break, yeah, it’s more of a break. Well I’ve graduated. Again. It’s still surreal at this point, don’t know when it’ll hit me. Maybe when I can STOP STUDYING.
It’s a little odd to be thinking that I’ll be a typical grown-up within the month. Going to work, making money (PRAISE THE LORD!), catching up with friends when I can, etc. I mean, I’ve never really done the “typical” thing or taken the “typical” road. I mean, even just looking back to my undergrad years. Went to school out of state at a college where I voluntarily signed a covenant that I would not drink or have premarital sex (among other things). Then I upped and moved to DC to live with strangers and help raise their children. Also, got a job at Starbucks to pay for a trip to Australia. Then back home to voluntarily give up my sanity for a year. And now, here I am, on the brink of “typical adult land”. And you know what? I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED! I mean, I knew the Lord had good things planned, when does He not? But this past weekend, talking with Cecilia, I just got so excited because there are really so many opportunities. This job and life will give me countless chances to love people, whether during my shifts, or mission trips I can afford to go on now or spoiling my family and friends in a small effort to repay them for what they’ve done for me the past year (and past 26 years).
He is so good!

Thank you Lord for carrying me through this past year. Honestly, I know I couldn’t have done it without the hope I have in You.

Mom and dad, thank you for the financial support, safe place to live, sleep and study, for the endless prayers you prayed over me and, most importantly, the food you fed me. No really, most importantly, thank you for your unconditional love, which I know I tested the limits of this past year. You’ve shown me what it is to be the hands and feet of Christ!

Alex and Kaitlyn, thank you for the stethoscope, countless dinners out and amazing support you offered. I know that I was grumpy and demanding, but you always met that with love! You always seemed to know when and what I needed, whether it be a loving text on a Monday morning or a movie with popcorn, peanut butter m&ms and a Snapple.
I had to put this picture up because it is just so “us”. Alex looks goofy and I look slightly confused, but in a happy way!

Cecilia, I hope I never know what it is like to live without you for a year, but you dealt with this past year swimmingly (YES, swimmingly!). You never complained when I didn’t have time to talk or couldn’t come see you, but instead continually offered support, even when you were going through your own pain. I hope that someday I can show you what a marvelous friend you are.

Kelly, you were an amazing example of Jesus’ love for his people through service. You’ve definitely shown me love through acts of service and I am so very grateful. Again, I’ll never be able to repay you, but I know you wouldn’t want me to anyway. And somehow I don’t have a picture with you We’ll have to reenact the party or the pinning or something!

Julie, you pulled me through this with you! If it wasn’t for your constant encouragement, jokes and musical references, I’d have been A LOT more inclined to quit throughout the program. I saw sooo many instances where God used you because you were willing to be a vessel for Him. Thank you for your love for Him and for me. And don’t you dare think you are rid of me now! And I need a picture of you and me too!
I love you all!

LOVE!

Time keeps ticking away..

Mandy — Wed, 05 May 2010 02:39:59 +0000

I know I’ve talked about this before, but, dudes, TIME IS WEIRD! I stand by the claim that time gets weirder the older you become. One thing I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to do is go through my old journals. I’ve been steadily journaling since probably freshman year of high school. In the moment, I use it as an outlet, but in the back of my head, I know that it’s really for future-me to come back to. Sometimes I cringe at what I seemed like and acted like and sometimes I’m blown away by revelations I had and wrote about. But it’s really nice to have something tangible that I can visit over and over again and say, “this is me, this is how I became who I am right now.” One thing that really strikes me when I delve into these journals is my evolving idea of romantic love. As a senior in high school, I clearly thought love was like what I saw in movies. I talked a lot about a guy putting his arm around me at a football game or how I was FEELING or how a certain song would always remind me of a certain crush or how I was ABSOLUTELY SURE I WOULD MARRY PRINCE WILLIAM. Okay so that last one was from the journal entry I wrote yesterday. Now, when I think about romantic love, I long for companionship, to discuss life’s complex issues, most of all, I long to laugh until I can’t breathe and my sides hurt and tears are streaming down my face. Maybe, in ten years, I’ll see romantic love as my husband putting the kids to bed and rubbing my feet, who knows!
I recently read Leslie Ludy’s book, “Sacred Singleness” (yes, I’m the girl who reads books on singleness, but judge ye not because YOU ARE READING MY BLOG AND YOU LIKE IT! Feel free to call me Bridget Jones) and I really loved a conversation she describes her single sister-in-law having. Someone asked the SIL if she felt she was called to be single, and her answer was “today I am.” That phrase has been echoing in my head since I read it. For some reason, the place that I’m most ashamed of being single is in my church. I feel like getting married gives you something to show for your life, like a sort of badge of worthiness, especially in a church where marriage has always been emphasized by my peers. But no more! The logical me knows I have plenty to show for my life, and knows that the only One who really matters cares only that what I have to show is love. He is calling me to love, everyone and everything. Because honestly? If I don’t love, who cares if I’m married or not? But let me tell you, I’m sooo excited that I’m called to LOVE and serve Him as a single! So yes, TODAY I am called to be single, and I will do my best to do it justice, be focused on the cares of the Lord and LOVE others.
Yes, I still dream of getting married and He knows that. I do my best to sacrifice my dreams to Him, because if He doesn’t have a hold of them, then I want nothing to do with them. I love this quote from Oswald Chambers and I feel like it was written for me:
“If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God.”

Anyhoo, what I meant for this post to be about was that time again has tricked my mind as it’s been almost a year since I started my nursing program! My hope of being a nurse is being realized for the Lord is good, and He has carried me through!

LOVE!

“All the shingle ladies”

Mandy — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:31:00 +0000

I TOTES forgot to tell yall about my recent run-in with SHINGLES. I wake up one morning with this odd bump on my shoulder, thinking, “that’s odd, I must have been bit by a spider.” I go to clinical, get a TB skin test and go back in two days. While I’m getting it read, I mention to the employee health nurse that I have an odd bump. She decides it’s shingles and I must leave the hospital promptly. I come home, see a nurse practitioner, who agrees and prescribes a ridiculously expensive anti-viral for me to take. The thing is, it wasn’t painful!
My dad’s reaction? Starts singing “all the single ladies”, only with as “all the shingle ladies”. Thanks for your support dad.
And now, I’m the “girl with shingles” on my floor, which happens to be where I’ll be working for the next two years.
going into the book. seriously.

LOVE!

5 WEEKS!!

Mandy — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:05:45 +0000

Hey guys, still here.
Wanted to remind you that 5 weeks and 28 minutes from right this second, I’ll be at my pinning ceremony! I’ll be DONE! Well, then I’ll have to pass the NCLEX. Then I’ll be DONE! Okay now it’s 27 minutes. Now I’m doing my leadership clinical, which is basically as close as you can get to working as a nurse, just without getting paid! Awesome! I’m getting more comfortable, which is really great! One of my patients commented on how my confidence had improved from my first day with her to the second, and it made me feel great! Still can’t start a dang IV though, grrr. Honestly, it’s really hard to believe this year is almost over. Whew!
Also I’m planning my Leadership Project with a group of 5 other people. It’s called Rounds for Ronald and it’s a disc golf tournament to raise money for Ronald McDonald House. If you’re around KC next Saturday, April 17 and play disc golf, COME on OVER!! We’d love to have you!
I finally broke through my weight-loss plateau today, so that’s exciting! I’m still in week 2 of my “running for beginners” program. Still do not like to run.
That’s about it for now!

LOVE!

23 minutes and 5 weeks!