Posts Tagged ‘time’

I know I’ve talked about this before, but, dudes, TIME IS WEIRD! I stand by the claim that time gets weirder the older you become. One thing I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to do is go through my old journals. I’ve been steadily journaling since probably freshman year of high school. In the moment, I use it as an outlet, but in the back of my head, I know that it’s really for future-me to come back to. Sometimes I cringe at what I seemed like and acted like and sometimes I’m blown away by revelations I had and wrote about. But it’s really nice to have something tangible that I can visit over and over again and say, “this is me, this is how I became who I am right now.” One thing that really strikes me when I delve into these journals is my evolving idea of romantic love. As a senior in high school, I clearly thought love was like what I saw in movies. I talked a lot about a guy putting his arm around me at a football game or how I was FEELING or how a certain song would always remind me of a certain crush or how I was ABSOLUTELY SURE I WOULD MARRY PRINCE WILLIAM. Okay so that last one was from the journal entry I wrote yesterday. Now, when I think about romantic love, I long for companionship, to discuss life’s complex issues, most of all, I long to laugh until I can’t breathe and my sides hurt and tears are streaming down my face. Maybe, in ten years, I’ll see romantic love as my husband putting the kids to bed and rubbing my feet, who knows!
I recently read Leslie Ludy’s book, “Sacred Singleness” (yes, I’m the girl who reads books on singleness, but judge ye not because YOU ARE READING MY BLOG AND YOU LIKE IT! Feel free to call me Bridget Jones) and I really loved a conversation she describes her single sister-in-law having. Someone asked the SIL if she felt she was called to be single, and her answer was “today I am.” That phrase has been echoing in my head since I read it. For some reason, the place that I’m most ashamed of being single is in my church. I feel like getting married gives you something to show for your life, like a sort of badge of worthiness, especially in a church where marriage has always been emphasized by my peers. But no more! The logical me knows I have plenty to show for my life, and knows that the only One who really matters cares only that what I have to show is love. He is calling me to love, everyone and everything. Because honestly? If I don’t love, who cares if I’m married or not? But let me tell you, I’m sooo excited that I’m called to LOVE and serve Him as a single! So yes, TODAY I am called to be single, and I will do my best to do it justice, be focused on the cares of the Lord and LOVE others.
Yes, I still dream of getting married and He knows that. I do my best to sacrifice my dreams to Him, because if He doesn’t have a hold of them, then I want nothing to do with them. I love this quote from Oswald Chambers and I feel like it was written for me:
“If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God.”

Anyhoo, what I meant for this post to be about was that time again has tricked my mind as it’s been almost a year since I started my nursing program! My hope of being a nurse is being realized for the Lord is good, and He has carried me through!

LOVE!

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