Archive for June, 2010

I passed the evil NCLEX and am now licensed to practice nursing in the state of Missouri!! Thank you for all of your prayers and support! It’s only through God’s grace that I made it through. I will write more later!

LOVE!!

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Hey yall.
I thought I’d update you on my life lately. Give you the 411. Ya know. I was supposed to start work on Monday, and did indeed go to orientation bright and early Monday morning. After several HUGE signs that something was NOT right, I went down to HR where they told me they’d messed up big time and I’d start orientation on July 5 instead. Apparently you’re supposed to fill out paperwork before you come into work…that’s how you get paid, and such. It was a huge relief to me though, because the NCLEX is tomorrow and my timeframe for studying was shrinking by the minute!
So yes, NCLEX tomorrow at 8AM. I try to not really think about all that it entails because it drives me crazy and makes me pee my pants. I find out Saturday morning if I’ve passed. This is how you’ll know: if I announce it here with big, bold letters, then I’ve passed! If I don’t say anything, I didn’t pass. So here’s to hoping there are some big, bold letters in my very near future.
Monday night went on a sort of set-up group-ish date. Exciting to “get out there” but I’m not sure it was a good match. Still fun. Yes, dad, I went on a sorta date Monday night and yes, I know you are the last to know everything. But honestly I didn’t think you’d let me out of the house wearing less than a burka. Sorry.
Today I’m relaxing, brushing up on a few things and daydreaming about NOT STUDYING at all next week, hopefully!
Thank you for your support and prayers!!

LOVE!

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One thing I’ve ALWAYS struggled with is assertiveness. Jesus set an example by laying his life down, but he ALSO threw over a couple tables in the temple, so I always wonder when it’s appropriate to sacrifice my pride and when (or if) it’s ever okay to start flipping tables (metaphorically speaking). AND Sunday’s message at church was about revenge, as we were covering the Sermon on the Mount and the passage which talks about “turning the other cheek.” (Matthew 5:38-42). Our pastor spoke about the verse in this passage where Jesus says (paraphrased), “If someone forces you to walk a mile, go with him two.” He explained to us about how Roman soldier could pick anyone to carry their 60-pound packs but the law was they could only make them carry it one mile. Anyhoo, the whole gist was that if men volunteered to carry the pack another mile, of their own volition, it would shame the soldiers for using them. And then our pastor said something that I’ve always wondered; “Jesus isn’t saying you should be a doormat.”
I have people in my life who seem like they no longer want to be around me. It’s not black and white, but their lack of enthusiasm seems like a pretty clear indicator to me. And I have trouble letting friendships go and so I feel I keep setting myself up as I continue to solicit their companionship only to be answered with an “ehhh.” Also, being a total-unabashed-”people-person” doesn’t help, because if I could, I’d be with people, with others, 24 hours a day (ask me if I feel the same after pulling 12-hour shifts around people all day, ha).
My question is, should I continue to work on these relationships and sacrifice my pride, is that what Jesus would do, what He calls me to do? Or is this the time to let it go, to just “get” that I am not a priority to them and go on? And I pray about this, and I’m not looking for you all to be my Holy Spirit and conscience, I just wonder how other people handle these things. Even though our pastor said we weren’t called to be doormats, I still wonder where the line is, when are we called to “shame” people like the Jews were told by Jesus to do to the Roman soldiers? When we’re oppressed?
And, lastly, I CANNOT BELIEVE anyone dislikes me or doesn’t have me as their number 1 priority. I mean, COME ON! ha!

LOVE!

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This morning on our way to church, a favorite memory came to mind. Stop me if I’ve told you this story before, okay? I was probably 12 years old, and our family had gone into Kansas City to have dinner with my grandparents and/or extended family. We usually ate at the country club my grandparents belonged to, and I only tell you that because the women’s lounge/bathroom is AMAZING! First of all, it is close to being as large as our entire house, with couches and table and a little door you can open and order drinks from the kitchen from while playing bridge. CLEARLY, the lounge was one of my favorite hang-outs. I seem to have a weird obsession with bathrooms. For some reason, the country club always made me feel good. I got to pretend I was rich and belonged in a luxurious bathroom that had its own tv. I surely would bump into the beautiful son of a local millionaire and/or celebrity, who would wisk me off into the sunset and we’d live happily ever after in Mission Hills. Anyway. This night was perfect. The air was cool, we were all dressed up and we had the oldies station on the radio. We needed to stop at Home Depot for something and there we wandered for over an hour. Our family rarely ever shopped together, all four of us, but we had so much fun that night. At Home Depot. I just remember riding in the minivan, the windows down, great music on and KNOWING that I was content.
And this is what summer offers. Anything is possible in the summer, all bets are off. Going to the Lake on the weekends and usually traveing during the summer if anything, only further propogate my lust for summer. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS believe I will fall in love during the summer. I remember in high school believing I’d fall in love at the Lake. Which is really quite laughable. For those of you who know the Lake, know there is no opportunity to meet someone, at least not the way we do the Lake (i.e. NO trips to the Party Cove. Not that the PC breeds love at all. Mostly it involves lust and probably every known STD). I digress. again. I’m just saying that THIS is what summer does to me! Apparently it makes me believe the unbelievable.
I love all seasons, but summer is different. It is, dare I say, magical. But, oh, those summer nights. (HA!) Seriously, if someone could bottle up summer nights, the cool air, bright stars, lulling insect sounds, I’d TOTES buy it.
Here is a lyric from a Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers song that describes it perfectly:
“In the summer we believe, all our dreams will be achieved.”
LOVE!

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